


safety is no substitute for freedom and honor leaves you longing for love

by tigriswolf



Series: meme fics [33]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anger, Canon-Typical Violence, Codependency, Gen, M/M, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Steve, history is wrong, roaring rampage of revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-18 12:37:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2348690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain America is the idealized hero, all about Truth, Justice, and the American Dream.  Steve doesn't even recognize the revered man he's been turned into.</p>
            </blockquote>





	safety is no substitute for freedom and honor leaves you longing for love

**Author's Note:**

> Title: safety is no substitute for freedom and honor leaves you longing for love  
> Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Grace Bauer  
> Warnings: violence/death/roaring rampage of revenge  
> Pairings: implied Steve/Bucky  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 1310  
> Point of view: third  
> Prompt: _[Any] Steve Rogers is a scary bastard_
> 
>  
> 
> _Usually, Steve is the sweetest, gentlest guy around. He's respectful, humble, and still a little bit shy._
> 
>  
> 
> _But Steve has a temper, and a few nuclear berserk buttons._
> 
>  
> 
> _I want to see what happens when some idiotic bad guy manages to press one._
> 
>  
> 
> _(Bonus!points if it has to do with Bucky.)_

The thing about Steve Rogers' anger is that it's quiet. His true rage is a cold, vicious thing that leaves everyone unaware until it erupts. 

He's really good at playing the game, at holding onto his control -- when he was the little guy, it was easy to explode because a lot of things pissed him off, yeah, but none of it actually touched him where it truly hurt. 

In Brooklyn, no one really went after Bucky. No one attacked Ma or Bucky's sisters. Everyone Steve loved was safe. With that being the case, everything else was gravy. 

.

But that's not the case anymore. 

.

Captain America can't have the little guy's triggers. The little guy's rages. Captain America is too strong to lose it. Too dangerous. 

And then Bucky gets lost behind enemy lines. 

.

They spin it, of course. The way history remembers it is wrong but by the time Steve wakes up, it doesn't matter.

What Steve did after Bucky fell isn't even a whisper. 

Captain America is the idealized hero, all about Truth, Justice, and the American Dream. Steve doesn't even recognize the revered man he's been turned into. 

.

He wants to ask Peggy, _How could you let them tell it that way?_ but he knows it doesn’t actually matter. What’s done is done. 

.

There are aliens and missions and drowning slowly while no one in the world notices. There’s Natasha trying to set him up with women and Stark sending him bizarre texts in references he doesn’t understand and catching up on pop culture that keeps having him turn to the left and begin, “Hey, Buck,” and then he goes to the gym and destroys machinery that Stark (thankfully) keeps replacing. 

.

And then there’s Fury getting shot through the wall.

There’s a mask falling off of Fury’s killer’s face. 

And the world restarts. 

.

“Bucky?” 

“Who the hell is Bucky?”

.

The thing about Steve Rogers’ rage is that it’s quiet. Cold. Focused. 

After Project Insight, he reads the folder Natasha gives him, memorizing the whole thing. He trawls his way through the data she released and has Stark look through what _wasn’t_ released. 

This is all his fault. He let Bucky fall. He trusted Hydra’s extermination to other people. That’s a mistake he will not be making again. 

He hasn’t destroyed gym equipment since the week before the Triskelion fell. 

.

“So, what’s the plan?” Sam asks as they fly over the Atlantic in Stark’s jet. 

“I’m tearing Hydra out by the roots and lighting it all on fire, then I’m salting the earth,” Steve says. 

“Okay.” Sam shrugs. 

.

Fifteen targets in, Bucky appears at Steve’s side mid-battle. When they’re the last two standing (Sam up in the air, keeping watch), Bucky turns to face him. “You’re a fuckin’ idiot,” he says. 

Steve grins, bright and wide, like he hasn’t since Bucky fell. 

.

With Stark and Natasha’s guidance, Hydra is torn out by the roots, lit on fire, and then salted so that nothing else can grow. 

.

Someone must be held accountable. That’s what the world’s governments decree. Someone must be held accountable and all of those culpable are dead, throats slit and bullets in their eyes. 

Someone must be held accountable – and that madman with the metal arm is still alive, sitting pretty in Stark’s tower, free as a bird. 

.

The thing about Steve Rogers’ rage is that it’s quiet. Cold. Implacable.

“Listen to me,” he tells the new World Security Council, the leaders of nations, the public all watching in shock. “Listen carefully.” He smiles at the camera. “Bucky Barnes isn’t going to be blamed for anything. If you wanna string someone up, it’ll be me. But I’m livin’ in Stark’s tower and my downstairs neighbor is the Hulk. Three floors up there’s the world’s greatest marksmen and the Black Widow. And there’s Stark himself, of course.” 

The smile drops. “But if anyone comes for Bucky…” He shakes his head. “Hydra’s gone. If it comes back, I’ll kill it again. I’d prefer to stop fightin’ now.” He sighs. “But I’ll always fight for Bucky.” 

The video ends. 

.

“Why did that terrify me more than facing off against an alien god-prince?” Stark asks into the silence. 

Bucky says, “You should just let ‘em have me.” 

Steve turns to him. Bucky’s hair is still long, hanging into his face. He’s hunched in on himself. Sometimes, he’s that boy Steve remembers, or that weary man from the war. Sometimes he’s the world’s most dangerous assassin. Sometimes he’s a scared child. 

Always, he’s Bucky. 

So Steve says, “You need to understand what I will do if I lose you again.” He reaches out carefully and takes Bucky’s hand. “I’ve done my part to save the world three times now, Bucky, and that whole while, the world was busy hurtin’ you. So if anyone hurts you ever again, then I’ll rip ‘em to shreds.” 

Bucky just looks at their joined hands and then up at Steve. “Thought that was my line, punk.” 

Steve laughs and pretends not to notice everyone shuddering, just a little. 

.

When he was the little guy, Steve got in a lot of fights. He did what he could and then Bucky swooped in, all avenging angel-like.

Captain America can’t afford to get in fights like that. He saves his fisticuffs for the big bads, for the criminal masterminds, the supervillains, wanna-be overlords and world-enders. 

The little guy’s temper burned hot because he never had anything to really get angry about. 

It’s been a year since he and Bucky moved into Stark’s tower, three months since Bucky started going out with him when the Avengers need back-up, and the first time – 

Bucky’s writhing on the ground, both hands pressed against his head, unable to even scream, and Steve has no idea which of the five shitheads is causing it. 

So he kills them all. And when Bucky is still whimpering on the ground, he goes after their equipment. Natasha and Sam are crouched beside Bucky, trying to help him, and it’s not doing anything. Steve can barely think –

He stops moving. Holds his breath. Listens as hard as he can, and _there_ –

There’s one more shithead. Hiding. Trying to be still and quiet. 

Bucky’s breath is coming out in whimpers, tiny little grunts of pain, and Steve’s rage is incandescent. 

“Cap!” Stark calls on the com as Steve stalks over to the shithead’s hiding place. 

.

After it’s done, none of them ever mention it again. 

.

Bucky doesn’t get any real sleep for almost three weeks. 

“What do you need? Steve asks as Bucky shudders himself awake again. 

“I just… is it ever gonna end?” Bucky’s voice is smaller than it ever was, in the before. He’s trying to melt into Steve, and Steve – there’s no one left to kill for him. No one left to hurt for this. All the guilty ones are long dead, and hopefully suffering eternal torment. 

“We can stop,” Steve says. “We can get out. Go live somewhere.” He rests his chin on the top of Bucky’s head. “We can live quiet, Buck,” he offers, tears of helpless welling in his eyes. “We can live free.” 

“You really think they’d let us go?” Bucky asks, scoffing. 

_The judging eyes, the ones calling for my blood, the people who want me drawn and quartered for being a gun_ , he means. 

“I think if they don’t,” Steve says quietly, “they’ll regret it for a very short time.” 

.

Steve Rogers has fought his entire life. He fought for women being hounded, for underdogs in unfair situations, for those who suffered under prejudice and injustice. 

He vanishes from the public eye one warm spring day. History remembers him as Captain America, the hero who saved the world multiple times. He is idealized. He is the shining idol that real men strive to emulate. 

There is a lot history doesn’t remember.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Fic DVD Commentaries](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6795196) by [tigriswolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf)




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